meyer lemon bars

Meyer Lemon Bars

so avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. a man is not very tired, he is exhausted. don’t use very sad, use morose. language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.” N.H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society

this may be a weird thought,
but i equate online dating,
or rather,
the reading of online dating profiles
to reading a professional resume
i know in my previous
i used the analogy of
Online Dating as
a Swimming Pool,
one where i dove headfirst into
the deep end
(cus, what other way is there?)
when i signed into
the match making site
i really viewed it as a
job application –
this looking for an ideal mate,
and interviewing to see if i’m
someone’s ideal mate
as a professional headhunter
i say without ego
that i am an excellent judger of
a shitty resume

personally, i have rules with
regards to how a resume should look:
punctuation (this space is exempt)
capitalization (again, this space is exempt)
grammar (seriously)
first person vs third person perspective
length of resume (too short shows lack
of imagination, too much bores me to death & i end up skimming)

this isn’t even touching on the subject
of pictures

again, with my rules:
recent pictures
(i can normally tell if a photo
is outdated, hello 1996 high school class pic)
group picture or worse, a picture
with someone (usually a chick) cropped out
the topless in the bathroom shot
(there’s an alarming amount out there)

last, but actually the beginning:
the manner in which the
perspective applicant applied
the wink or “yo” emails were
promptly deleted and depending
on my mood, blocked
if there was even a slightest
indication that the guy did not
read my profile
(which, i’ll be truthful, read
very much like how i talk,
which incidentally, is how i write here)
if the email was interesting enough,
the profile was alright,
it was then that i responded

i know, i’m such a brat
it’s a wonder i got asked out
but i managed to go on dates,
a few of them repeats!
this went on for an exhausting 3 weeks
when one night
i received an email that
stopped me in my tracks
made me sit down
log into my account
to respond
and give him my personal contact
information right off the bat
it was dw’s email
i just knew

you know when you ask your
mother/whoever how they knew they met
The One
and they say vaguely,
and maddeningly,
that you just know
that was my moment
i just knew
he woo’d me from the first email
and i just knew
he was The One

Meyer Lemon Bars

Meyer Lemon Bars
*note: i didn’t make these. dw did. i know. see what i mean?

1 cup flour
1/3 cup scant coconut oil, melted
1/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350°
Mix flour, coconut oil, and confectioner’s sugar.
Press evenly into bottom of square pan
Bake for 20 minutes

Beat remaining ingredients until light and fluffy.
Pour over hot crust and bake about 25 minutes longer
Cut into squares

yields 12 bars – calories: 181 | total fat: 6.9g | saturated fat: 5.5g | cholesterol: 27.3mg | sodium: 60.6mg | total carbs: 28.7g | dietary fiber: 0.3g | sugars: 19.4g | protein: 2.2g

Meyer Lemon Bars

other citrus and/or bars:
angry asian creations – lemon bars
angry asian creations – lime bars
morestomach blog – chocolate wonderfuls
spontaneous tomato – peach rhubarb oatmeal bars
une gamine dans la cuisine – brown butter peach crumb bars