meyer lemon bars

Meyer Lemon Bars

so avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. a man is not very tired, he is exhausted. don’t use very sad, use morose. language was invented for one reason, boys – to woo women – and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.” N.H. Kleinbaum, Dead Poets Society

this may be a weird thought,
but i equate online dating,
or rather,
the reading of online dating profiles
to reading a professional resume
i know in my previous
i used the analogy of
Online Dating as
a Swimming Pool,
one where i dove headfirst into
the deep end
(cus, what other way is there?)
when i signed into
the match making site
i really viewed it as a
job application –
this looking for an ideal mate,
and interviewing to see if i’m
someone’s ideal mate
as a professional headhunter
i say without ego
that i am an excellent judger of
a shitty resume

personally, i have rules with
regards to how a resume should look:
punctuation (this space is exempt)
capitalization (again, this space is exempt)
grammar (seriously)
first person vs third person perspective
length of resume (too short shows lack
of imagination, too much bores me to death & i end up skimming)

this isn’t even touching on the subject
of pictures

again, with my rules:
recent pictures
(i can normally tell if a photo
is outdated, hello 1996 high school class pic)
group picture or worse, a picture
with someone (usually a chick) cropped out
the topless in the bathroom shot
(there’s an alarming amount out there)

last, but actually the beginning:
the manner in which the
perspective applicant applied
the wink or “yo” emails were
promptly deleted and depending
on my mood, blocked
if there was even a slightest
indication that the guy did not
read my profile
(which, i’ll be truthful, read
very much like how i talk,
which incidentally, is how i write here)
if the email was interesting enough,
the profile was alright,
it was then that i responded

i know, i’m such a brat
it’s a wonder i got asked out
but i managed to go on dates,
a few of them repeats!
this went on for an exhausting 3 weeks
when one night
i received an email that
stopped me in my tracks
made me sit down
log into my account
to respond
and give him my personal contact
information right off the bat
it was dw’s email
i just knew

you know when you ask your
mother/whoever how they knew they met
The One
and they say vaguely,
and maddeningly,
that you just know
that was my moment
i just knew
he woo’d me from the first email
and i just knew
he was The One

Meyer Lemon Bars

Meyer Lemon Bars
*note: i didn’t make these. dw did. i know. see what i mean?

1 cup flour
1/3 cup scant coconut oil, melted
1/4 cup confectioner’s sugar
2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons flour
1 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350°
Mix flour, coconut oil, and confectioner’s sugar.
Press evenly into bottom of square pan
Bake for 20 minutes

Beat remaining ingredients until light and fluffy.
Pour over hot crust and bake about 25 minutes longer
Cut into squares

yields 12 bars – calories: 181 | total fat: 6.9g | saturated fat: 5.5g | cholesterol: 27.3mg | sodium: 60.6mg | total carbs: 28.7g | dietary fiber: 0.3g | sugars: 19.4g | protein: 2.2g

Meyer Lemon Bars

other citrus and/or bars:
angry asian creations – lemon bars
angry asian creations – lime bars
morestomach blog – chocolate wonderfuls
spontaneous tomato – peach rhubarb oatmeal bars
une gamine dans la cuisine – brown butter peach crumb bars

15 thoughts on “meyer lemon bars

  1. We should really teach a class. I, too, am a guru of online dating. I utilize(d) the same criteria that you did. Imagine our combined power. Imagine the love we could bring into the world. Imagine how many of those lemon bars we could consume…

    1. hysterically i have thought of charging for my services in this regard. i mean, i’ve thrown out a few bits of advice here & there, and for the serious daters they listened and i was successful.

      no need to imagine how many lemons bars could be consumed: i was able to consume them all, there is never ever a chance for me to share this with anyone, other than dw, despite good intentions.

  2. Hey Lan… beautiful lemon bars by DW! he’s really amazing! I want to try these..But is it possible to substitute the coconut oil with something else? Like melted butter or some other kind of oil?

    1. yes, the original recipe of dw’s mom’s recipe uses softened butter. but note: coconut oil is oilier than butter or margarine so when we bake with it, we do scale back on the amount.
      the original recipe calls for 1/2 cup of butter, whereas we only used a scant 1/3 cup of coconut oil here. i hope this helps, please let me know if you have any questions!

  3. These are just beautiful, Lan! My compliments to the chef, but also to the chef’s photographer! These bar prove how much you are two peas in a pod.

    I love that you write this blog the way you talk. It helps us really know you 🙂 At least, as much as you’re comfortable with sharing.

    You SCHOOLED online dating, by the way! I’m glad it’s never been my job to judge resumes…. I’m harsh, like yourself.

  4. Lovely post! (And thank you for linking to my peach rhubarb bars! I have some trusty, beloved “zesty” lemon lime bars on my blog, too, but dw’s recipe looks much more straightforward and simple—yet also totally mouthwateringly delicious.)

    I think it’s good you have so many picky rules for yourself (and others) for resumes and online dating profile photos. I’m super picky about all of those things, too. (This is why I spend my part-time-job life as a proofreader/editor.) Paula and I met online, too—although I was the one who e-mailed her first. But I was so super picky about how peoples’ profiles looked, that she was the *only* person I ever contacted! (Actually, I almost didn’t e-mail her, since she worked for an ophthalmologist and I have an eye phobia and hate being forced to talk/think about medical eye-related things… but I decided that was being overly stupid/picky, so I e-mailed her anyway, and I’m so glad I did!)

    Anyway, I’m happy for you & dw! I can see how these lemon bars totally confirm he’s The One. 🙂

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