diy | sperm cornhole

PicMonkey Collage

it’s turned into a sticky summer
one that leaves you panting
for a breeze
a lick of ice cream
or sip of cloyingly sweet iced tea
it’s the time of year
where the least amount of activity,
the less movement the better
zero plans are made
but as life would have it
it’s been an engaging time
making plans
going to & fro
that’s just how it is,
isn’t it?

– – –

always toward, for mama fig

for a long time she imagined
a life spent
not tending to her thoughts,
instead
minding another.
she imagined she would become
like the women pictured,
tender,
supple,
full of grace
steadfast
but then time watered
down the colors
that came from the light
of the window.
she muted the chatter,
listened to her thundering heart,
kept to the beat of it
and leapt forward
always toward
exactly what she had
imagined

Sperm Corn Hole - DIY

how to sew sperm beanies, for Sperm Corn Hole
for a baby shower, because keeping it classy means playing with sperm

materials:

  • 3 grey felt sheets, i bought mine for $0.29/each from Michael’s
  • sperm template, i did a google search for the term “sperm” and chose this template. an alternative search term could be “tadpole”
  • scissors
  • yarn, scraps from previous yarn projects
  • yarn needle
  • dried beans, i used lima beans

directions:
size the sperm template according to how big you want the beanbag to be. keep it within reason, easy to hold in one hand. print on paper.
cut the shape out.
for ease, tape the cut out to the felt sheet, i was able to fit 3 per sheet, and cut the felt sheet along the outline of the sperm template.
follow through with the rest of the felt sheets, until you get 9 sperms (this is an odd # i know. you’ll have an extra sperm)

Sperm Corn Hole - DIY

thread your needle with yarn of choice.
layer two sperm felt sheets until they are evenly matched.

Sperm Corn Hole - DIY

sew along the edge. my 7th grade home ec teach would be so proud of my stitching, i kept it really close and tight together. you don’t want the things to burst mid throw and beans to go flying everywhere.
when you’ve sewn a good 90% of the way around, add your beans in. don’t fill it to bursting, but you want it to fill the crevices and for the bag to have heft. it makes for better throwing.

Sperm Corn Hole - DIY

sew the gap, being careful to tie the end appropriately.

Sperm Corn Hole - DIY

alternatively, if you have a sewing machine, you can sew it that way, it’d be faster and easier but honestly, each beanie took me about 30 minutes to sew by hand.

BAM!

cornhole
bottom photo used with permission from d.bair

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14 thoughts on “diy | sperm cornhole

  1. This is such a hilarious idea for a baby shower Lan!! I was totally confused when I saw the new post listed in my email…;) Would be so fun to use for a baby shower someday!

  2. Oh man, I saw my email very very early this morning and was like — shit, Lan’s been hacked! This is so much better than being hacked, though! This is awesome. There are very few legit baby shower games in the world and this is added to the list! LOVE

    1. haha! the title of this post is a legit cause to think my blog had been hacked, i didn’t even think about that.

      i’m glad, there are so few fun non-gushy-baby related shower games out there, this should definitely be played if it’s co-ed and you want it to be child-friendly too.

  3. Oooohhh!! Amazing! You have so much patience to sew around the edge all by hand!! Mine would have looked like a 2 year old’s work…

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