diy homemade goldfish crackers

homemade Goldfish Crackers

we went to get dw fitted for a few suits
this summer
doing the grown up thing,
chatting with a proper
dw standing in front of a
3-way mirror
being tucked and nipped
and damnit, me kissing him silly
cus he is just so dang c u t e
(fyi: making out in public,
in a men’s fancy schmancy suit store
is only entertaining for me,
everyone else gets all flustered)

pda aside,
i always equated getting clothes specially
fitted and tailored
to be oh so grown up,
and well, i realize i am a
grown ass woman,
i feel so (not to mention, act) adolescent
does this feeling ever go away?
i hope not

homemade Goldfish Crackers

when i was younger i wasn’t
much of a snacker
sure we had the random dorritos
or triscuits in the house,
however that was later, when my
sisters grew up and for
convenience sake there were
nibbles available
but when it was pretty much
just me in the house,
with my gparents,
there was never enough in the grocery
fund for cookies or fruit roll ups
as a result, i’m awful with
remembering to pick up
and even with the means to buy
them now,
and even when it’s on the list
i draw blanks with what to buy
so poor dw’s lunches are
always bland:
(he’d be the kid in the cafeteria
with nothing to trade)
the leftovers from the previous
night’s dinner
maybe a piece of fruit
that’s it
i know, right?

goldfish crackers are a
childhood staple,
not my childhood,
but you know,
the white folk
i could buy them now
i suppose, but they’ve been on
my radar to attempt,
and since i’m a grown up without
little ones to mind
i spent a sunday morning rolling the dough,
cutting the fish shapes
no lie, they’re adorable
they taste like the real stuff
i think i would just rather
re-learn how to grocery shop
for snacks

homemade goldfish crackers

homemade goldfish crackers
adapted from she wears many hats

8 oz Sharp Cheddar Cheese, shredded. i used cabot’s seriously sharp cheddar
4 TBL cold coconut oil, Cut Into Cubes
1 cup spelt flour
pinch of salt
2 TBL ice cold water

in a food processor pulse everything but the water until the mixture looks like coarse sand

add in the water, one tablespoon at a time. resist the urge to add more. just don’t.

divide the dough into 3, wrapped in plastic and chill for 20 minutes.

preheat oven at 350F.

remove dough from fridge and allow for the cold edge to warm a smidge. remember, coconut oil is finicky, it gets hard at a lower temp but also melts real easily.

roll out the dough and cut into desired shapes. for the first 3 dozen i made little goldfish and then i got over it and just cut the rest of the dough into little random shapes with a pizza cutter. it all tastes the same, trust me.

place crackers on parchment paper lined cookie sheet. bake for about 15 minutes. store at room temp in air tight container.

yields: approx 7 dozen, serving size: 12 crackers – calories: 184 | total fat: 9.6g | saturated fat: 0.1g | trans fat: 0.1g | cholesterol: 0.8mg | sodium: 164.9mg | total carbs: 21.6g | dietary fiber: 2g | sugars: 1.3g | protein: 4g

13 thoughts on “diy homemade goldfish crackers

  1. Goldfish crackers weren’t around when I was a kid, but I do love them as an adult. I’ve been dying to make some for 2.0’s lunch box, as they seem less likely to kill him than the real deal.

    The first part of your post was very Pretty Woman. But without the prostitution.

  2. Such cute biscuits lan! I wonder, can I substitute the coconut oil with another type of oil? or butter? I have no idea were to get coconut oil! Oh, btw, the coconut cookies post is out! big hug!

  3. HAHA white people snacks! So true. Seriously don’t learn how to grocery-shop for snacks, not if you do this. THESE look amazing and spelt flour? Hello healthful AND tasty. You are the best at life and dw won’t want to trade with anyone at lunch even though they’ll be sooo jealous.

    Where didja get the adorable I mean grown up fishy cookie cutter?

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