crochet | starburst baby blanket

Star Burst Baby Blanket

Star Burst Baby Blanket

Star Burst Baby Blanket

Star Burst Baby Blanket

i say it often
but these days i find myself
deadline crocheting
there is always a project
to start
to complete
i reach for my yarn
and hook by rote
and if i’m not,
i’m searching for a pattern
to get immersed in

despite lamentations
this winter has allowed for much
productivity
a pot of soup simmering
dw beside me,
either doing a crossword puzzle
or napping,
my fingers tangled in yarn
sometimes i’ll stop
to stretch overtired wrists
and hands
and fingers
and then back at it
sweat-shop style

this blanket was part of
my contribution for the
baby shower
we had at work this week

for the main color, i used caron’s one pound yarn in cream (or maybe it’s off white…)
for the trim/border, i used bernat’s baby coordinates in baby pink
i used a J-hook

i used this pattern, which was so easy to memorize

fyi: mini elephant pillow is Monsignor Boh Regard Nguyen, made by the lovely wendi of Bon Appetit Hon.

my other crocheted creations:
owl rattle
minecraft skull hats

happy weekend friends!

DIY | scratch off lottery tickets

DIY | scratch offs

they say there’s
50 eskimo words for ‘snow’
that’s a lot of words for
the same damn thing that’s
falling from the sky
and can’t seem to resolve itself
it started snowing back in
DECEMBER
and it’s hardly stopped since
i know there are places
up north
out west
the North Pole
Antarctica
that have it waaaay worse
so with that in mind
dw & i thew a party
our first dinner party
and made our guests sit on the floor
BAM
one new year’s resolution resoluted
we had vietnamese hot pot
cus that’s what you feed people
to celebrate the year of the horse
and when it’s cold out
and when you want to do as little
cooking as possible
making guests work for their meal
is the best party trick
go ahead,
steal this idea
some more tips:

DIY | scratch offs

have games
if you have friends,
like i do,
who are competitive,
games are good
homemade scratch off lottery tickets
are damn good

how to:
very similar to how i made my
wedding save the dates
except,
under the scratch-off paint
write incredibly assertive
messages
and watch the quibbling that
ensues between said competitive friends
as they scramble to
get the best prizes in the basket
(note: prizes ranged
from homemade blueberry jam
to real lottery tickets)

DIY | scratch offs

we also played two kinds of card games
Peanuts: a wilson family game
that rumor has it
grandmothers were mowed over
to clinch wins
our games entailed
quite a bit of stress,
silent planning,
and entirely too many swear words
a version of Asshole
which also caused
cussing

all in all,
it was a success
i’ve been day dreaming
about entertaining
and it all came together so easily

DIY | scratch offs

resources and inspiration:
kitchn | don’t be afraid to rearrange furniture. my friends sat on the floor!
inspired food | always have a plan B. i planned to make fortune cookies but shit did not go right. i had a plan B.
dinners for winners | kinda reverse this post: i made note of dietary restrictions, the sauces were gluten free and we made sure the abode was clean so everyone could make themselves comfortable.

FRIENDS!

crochet | minecraft creeper hats

Crocheted Creeper Hats

this weather
gawd
this weather!
does anyone else have this problem:
(or is it just me)
(it’s probably just me)
the inability to defrost the car windows
i’ve owned two
vehicles in my life
and i’m the worst at
messing with the various
knobs & buttons
which i think is a
good time to request
a lexus
with ass warmers
cus then waiting for
the windows to defog
would be more bearable

anyway
this weather
it’s cold & dreary
it’s sunny & mild
then,
there’s talk of blizzards
and polar vortexes
it’s usually around this time
of year i get fanatical
about taking vitamins
forcing hot broth on poor dw
making him wear socks to bed
(his feet get sooooo cold)
but for all my cautiousness
poor dw is sick
and i’m doing what i can
to get him back to health,
while dodging the illness myself

Crocheted Creeper Hats

now if i could just get him
to wear a scarf
and hat consistently…
we are a one-car household
i drop him off at
the edge of town in the mornings
and he walks the rest of the way
we have a designated place
to meet at the end of the day
sometimes
he’s left standing around
waiting for my slow driving ass
it’s cold son!
unlike him,
our nephews wear hats
and for xmas this year
i crocheted
Creeper hats for them
i asked for their best
Thug Look
and this is what i got
they’re so flippin adorable
we’re like a really small
Gang

Crocheted Creeper Hats

i used this pattern as a guide.

photos used with permission from Jonas Wilson

diy | toy kitchen

DIY Toy Kitchen

nowadays the conversation
inevitably turns to children
it’s that Time, you see,
after Marriage
actually,
it’s been that Time
for awhile,
since i’m in my 30s

i like kids
though it has been easy in
the past for me to say otherwise
truth be told,
i adore children
but since i was sixteen
i’ve been assertively
against procreating
i have a running tally of
Reasons Why I Don’t Want Children
it’s in the millions right now

the main reason though,
the only reason that counts:
i don’t want to be a Mother
it has nothing to do with
the fact that i didn’t meet
bio mom until i was 30
or that i have barely concealed
passive aggressive emotions
twds my stepmother
but it has everything to do
with the fact that
motherhood is just not my thing

know what is my thing though?
being an aunt
like i said
i like children,
other people’s children
i see a kid
of holding in your arms age
and i will butt in line,
elbow grandmothers out of the way
to hopefully be the first Asian
to hold that child
when poop and tears make an
appearance
the package is returned
and my uterus can stop panicking

dw is a fine man
i wouldn’t have balled&chained him
if he wasn’t
and everybody knows
my lurve for him is so deep
the goddamn ocean is jealous
so when i see him like this
my ovaries quiver
and i start to think about
having babies with this man
and how our kid would likely
have shitty eyes
cus both of us have shitty eyes
or that our kid would be lanky
cus lord knows dw has a bottomless pit of a stomach
despite the amount of food he puts away
and i was all knees & elbows
until i discovered alcohol
and the Waffle House in college
he makes me realize that
fathers do participate
willingly,
that motherhood with him
could be my thing
if only the other million + one
Reasons Why I Don’t Want Children
didn’t exist

DIY Toy Kitchen

diy toy kitchen & what i learned:

|| i’m useless with carpentry stuff: i’d been wanting to make a toy kitchen since before pinterest came along. so when dw’s friends’ kid expressed interest in the culinary arts i decided the time had come. i basically told dw what i wanted and he went forth and made like Jesus and did a bunch of wood-working while i sat on the couch & told him what to do.
|| things add up: we thought that it’d be a quick and cheap project. then we realized we didn’t have any tools, like, oh, a drill. in the end it still was a relatively inexpensive endeavor because we added to our inventory of tools. i meant to keep tabs on all the costs but with the holidays and birthdays the receipts got annoying.
|| dw is detail oriented. i wanted knobs, he measured every single space to ensure it all lined up and made sense. had it been me, i would’ve plopped the dang things anywhere there was a smooth surface.
|| on the one side of the stand that i did not photograph there is a dry erase magnet board attached to it, for menus or you know, doodling. initially i wanted to paint a chalkboard surface but it seemed a lot of work.
|| miniature kitchen tools are adorable. i damn near bought an entire set for fake cooking use.
|| for the sink, the bowl is actually a doggie dish from the dollar store and the faucet is a plastic pipe i painted grey.
|| for the burners, i bought wooden circle thingies from Michael’s and painted the top red. i almost did the spiral but again, it seemed like a lot of work.
|| the side table was a craigslist purchase for $15, it used to be a record stand holder.

inspiration & resources:
i wanted a backboard to either put a shelf or hang kitchen tools.
for extra counter space.
knobs are from anthropology.
other supplies from Ace Hardware and Home Depot and Michael’s.

DIY Toy Kitchen

knit | sparkly wedding shawl

Wedding Shawl

when the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. -Japanese Proverb

which basically tells you that
i’m batshit crazy
i’m incredibly blessed
and undeserving
from where i am sitting as i type this,
in the fading light of october,
a nostalgia has stirred in me
that must be indulged

Wedding Shawl

you know,
i have four much younger sisters
three on one side
one on the other
sisters who i did not pick
but are indelibly part of me
like an arm i could not cut off
even if i wanted to
but to have a heart sister of my choosing
well
it can be easier said than done
nuria makes it super easy though
she will bully her way into your life
she will watch really bad medical dramas with you
she will make you bawl when she hands you a kindle for xmas,
(a toy you’ve been coveting)
she will drive your car like a maniac
during her driver’s test
(which she failed)
she will have poop talks with you
she will pick meat off chicken wings for you
cus you have braces on
she will braid your hair like the
bohemian gypsy you want to be
she will run the zombie race with you
while your beloved runs ahead
she will take you home to her motherland
and basically feed you stupid
she will also drive you crazy
she will make you question if metallica really
is the greatest band ever
and she will take 5 weeks off of playing video games
to knit you not one, not two,
but three shawls for your wedding

Wedding Shawl

she is indelibly part of me,
of my choosing,
and i would never want to cut
that piece of me off

me+nuria

this is the pattern she used
wedding photo courtesy of Jonas Wilson, used with permission. my edit.
me+nuria pic courtesy of nuria gonzalez montelban mcintyre, used with permission. my edit.