where the wild things are smash cake

Where the Wild Things Are Cake

following in the same thread
as last post’s boxed confection,
i recently created a small cake
for a small bae
with a wild streak.
a smash cake was reqested
and since i figured it was going to be,
well, smashed to smithereens,
i went boxed, again.
but since it’s for a most beloved child,
we did go organic.
i still have standards y’all.

the theme was
Where the Wild Things Are,
a book i vaguely remember.
i doubt NT will recall this occasion,
though there were plenty of pictures that captured it.
in any case,
it was so easy to put together,
though you’da thunk i slaved over it
by the reactions of everyone in attendance of the party.
that’s winning at adulting,
if there were such a thing.

Where the Wild Things Are Cake

Where the Wild Things Are Smash Cake
makes 1 2 layered 6″ cake

1 box of cake mix, i used Immaculate Yellow Cake Mix
1 can of frosting, i used Wholesome Chocolate frosting
half bag of chocolate chips, a brand i like is enjoy life
1 tube of pre-made pie crust, i used immaculate ready to bake pie crust

bake the cake as per box instructions. for 6″ i baked for 35 minutes. it did dome a smidge, so it had to be leveled.

for the crown: on a lightly floured counter top, lay out the crust layer. with the mind set of an heir and a spare, i made 2 crowns. i measured out 2 10″ wide rectangles. i’m bad at math and space, so one of the crowns was taller, while the other was stubby. just make a chevron/jagged crown. using either the upside of a muffin or popover tin, wrap the crown around the base. for shininess and some color, do an egg wash. bake for 12 minutes, until gold brown. hopefully 1 of the 2 will come out. in my case, the heir died and i had to use the stubby spare. set aside, be careful, try not to break it.

for the textured bark: you can either melt the chocolate in the microwave or double boiler style. when the chocolate is fully melted, spread it into a rectangle on parchment paper, you want it as thin as possible, so use an off-set spatula. carefully fold the parchment paper into a roll and fridge it until set.

to assemble: lay the first cake layer on a plate or whatever you’re gonna serve the cake on. pipe in a layer of frosting, spread and then top with 2nd layer of cake. crumb coat it. it does not need to be perfect. you do want to make the top be as smooth as possible though, the sides can be bare minimum though. when ready, take the role of schmeared chocolate out and crack it. unroll the paper, you should have varied sized shards of chocolate. adhere them to the sides of the cake, you may need to dab on some frosting to get it to stick. again, it does not need to be perfect, just think of what a tree stump looks like. when the sides are sufficiently covered, re-melt the remaining chocolate shards and with a pastry brush, dab on the chocolate to the the cracks and fill in blank spots. you’re aiming for something rustic.

fridge it. take out about 30 minutes prior to smashing. top with the crown.

BAM!

Where the Wild Things Are Cake

3 years ago: tofu gyoza – vegan
2 years ago: peach ginger scones – vegan
1 year ago: summer salsa – vegan

nile + smash cake

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crochet | broomstick lace infinity cowl

Broomstick Lace Infinity Cowl

we lived in the same dorm,
but it wouldn’t be until 2nd semester that we’d meet.

He either wants a cake or MY cake. ​

delta chi parties were never the same
after we met.
cream of tomato soup + grilled cheese
was Our Jam.

i’m officially tired of first day of school pics on facebook.
most of the kids aren’t even cute.

we rocked out to RAY OF LIGHT
for weeks.
we counted pennies to determine
if we could afford cover to bars.

every time i eat strawberries i hope that
richard gere busts through my door to find me flossing.

we have a devote love
for the Lord of the Rings,
Pride & Prejudice,
and snarking.

sometimes i don’t ask someone to do a simple favor for me
because i don’t feel like saying thank you.

most of our texting
and emails revolve around
cake decorations,
running schedules,
and how big our asses have grown since we were 18.

are you still sprinkling salt on your foods like you’re Tyler Florence?
he likes to hold his hand up real high and do it.
i wish he’d sprinkle my cookie.

i’m late this year
with my holiday/birthday/anniversary gift
for BigK.
something like creative blocks
laziness
busy-ness
but mainly laziness
kept me from putting this in the mail for her.
as it happens, it’s cold as shit right now,
even in the dirty south,
she has plenty of time to make use of this cowl.

that’s just silliness. i like kids. i’ve been around them for most of my life. but they do NOT belong at every setting. when i go to a party i don’t want to have to watch my mouth because little sally cream puff might hear me say f*ck balls.

Broomstick Lace Infinity Cowl

broomstick lace infinity cowl
yarn used: Lang Yarns, SOL DÉGRADÉ in color: 783.0079
crochet hook: H hook

*note: you want to do multiples of four + one for the turning chain (using a turning chain allows you to retain the same # stitches).
**note: i tried to find the video that i used to learn how to make this stitch, without the assistance of a broomstick or thick knitting needle, but i can’t find it. you can certainly google for video assistance, just know that the directions are different from what i have described below.

row 1: chain 28 + 1 for turning chain
row 2: single stitch across starting at stitch 2nd from the hook. (you should end up with 28)
row 3: chain 1 but draw the loop through until it’s about an inch (keep this loop on hook). insert hook into next chains and repeat, you will end up with 28 1″ loops on your hook. carefully remove hook and turn.
row 4: insert hook through 4 loops, single crochet on those 4 loops 4x. do that for the entire row, you should up with 7 sets of 4 loops. chain 1 (turning chain) and turn.
row 5: single crochet across. (you should end up with 28). chain 2 (turning chain) and turn.
row 6: single crochet across. (you should end up with 28). chain 2 (turning chain) and turn.
row 7 and beyond: repeat row 3 – 6 until reach desired length.

this can be a scarf or to make into a cowl, sew the ends together. i twisted once before sewing the ends. if you’re feeling fancy, have at it.

BAM!

Broomstick Lace Infinity Cowl

confab | current reads

books

“poor boy. with a name like atticus, every word he utters ought to be inspired and wise, spoken with a voice that compels all within earshot to sit up and listen. i wonder how disappointed atticus’s parents must be. such a noble and lofty name full of great expectations, and they end up with a heavyset boy with a prominent brow and underdeveloped frontal lobe who says “um” a lot and scratches himself in the cafeteria.”
-steve brezenoff, guy in real life

“i may not be old but i’m too old to have this much nothing.”
-jonathan topper, this is where i leave you

“it is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. i don’t like Chinese food, but i don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.”
-tiny fey, bossypants

“he sighed. it was a long sigh, weary and worldly-wise. the kind of sigh you could picture god heaving after six days of hard work and looking forward to some serious cosmic r&r, only to be handed a report by an angel concerning a problem with someone eating an apple.”
-neil gaiman & michael reaves, interworld

“​knowing what i know now, it is difficult to describe what it was like, loving Ray. years ago a recovering crystal meth addict spoke at my son’s school. she said that even after ten years clean, she still missed the way it felt to have that deadly substance in her veins. still, life without the drug felt, sometimes, like a lesser thing. a sad though necessary comedown. listening to her speak in that auditorium filled with my fellow concerned parents, sitting next to my good husband with whom i’d lived at that point for close to twenty years, the image of Ray’s face was all i could see, and a wave of grief and longing overtook me, so strong i had to cover my eyes. even after all that time.”
-joyce maynard, the good daugthers

notable online reads:
15 career tips from smart women
childless women
introverts unite!
anthony bourdain travel tips
how cooking for others is selfish
homecooking
Visiting Médoc, France: Where Vines Outnumber Visitors

what have you been reading?

confab | current reads

nephews - reading time

august is here
summer is almost over

i could cry

instead,
let’s talk books

i don’t read as often
as i’d like
and i made the decision
this year that
there are so many, many, many
books & reading materials
out there
that should it not hold my attention
i will dump it.
life is too short
time is too scarce
to muddle through shitty words

currently on my kindle:
Guy in Real Life by Steve Brezenoff
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

currently on my bookshelf:
On Such a Full Sea by Chang Rae-Lee
Califia’s Daughter by Leigh Richards (reread. because good books deserve to be read over & over & over again)

online:
1K project
networking for introverts
woman in the rainy season

and you.
what are you reading?

nephews - reading time

january | remember

January

today’s the last day of the month
which means
it’s the first day
of the Year of the Horse

park bench

may this new year be:
prosperous
joyful
flavorful
simple
healthy

waffles

felt … falling snow, wet and hard and unforgiving. this winter has been brutal. 30F has actually felt balmy around these parts.
saw … perfect 20/20 vision. my lasik procedure was a success and while i’m still recuperating, it’s been a revelation to wake up to an in focus world.
reada book! actually, still reading it and i’m serious, i’m about 18% in and my heart is breaking already

seeds

a few pinterest & internet discoveries:
||i have a serious thing for tutus and sequins
||i don’t even like camping, but how delightful does this look?
||i have my heart set on making this, even though we’ve been shedding books
||i’m a fan of this solemn man and i need his action figure in my life
||this is magical
||my creative writing professor never gave us this assignment, thank gawd
||i loved this read so so SO MUCH: What’s wrong with me? Plenty. But that was never the point.

spoons

photo captions:
||it’s not so much the snow that kills me, it’s the damn cold. it’s like a soul-sucking siege, a state of which i see no end of
||weekends in general means dw makes breakfast. i’m not complaining, the man spoils me rotten
||not seeing these seeds any longer at the markets, meaning the season is over… meaning, winter needs to make her exit now already
||i walked into michael’s for yarn and walked out with these spoons, completely unnecessary
||finally, i signed up for a foodie penpal thing back in november. it happened to fall during a busy time and can i just tell you, seeing a package on my desk after an absence from the office was just what i needed. my penpal Alyssa sent me some trader joe’s ingredients and cookies will be forthcoming, i’ve had an idea floating in my head for the last 3 weeks and it just might be born this weekend… stay tuned. meanwhile, to join the fun, go here

choclate

last. i must share this with you. my current celebrity crush is tom hiddleston. i like me a bad boy and he as loke had me quivering. this is him doing a reading of ee cummings’ may i feel said he. swoon